Enchilada Mama: On Vital Kitchen Equipment

These here are my onion-cutting goggles. Different pair than my swogging goggles. (Carissa, ya hear?!) My eyeballs get a little emotional when cutting onions. When I was a teenager and started cooking in earnest, I tried an old pair of ski goggles... and GUESS WHAT?! They have vents along the eye socket (no bueno - they let in all that onioney air). And so here we are.

Back to the food.

Sometimes 'over' means 'behind me in life,' so today I bring you a low-fat, nutrition-rich main dish that you can work off with a kettlebell and one episode of Bones.

The sauce

• 2 packets Fernandez enchilada sauce (have your Aunt Karen send you some each Christmas)
• 14-oz can tomato sauce & equal part tap water
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

Combine ingredients in a covered saucepan over low heat for about 20 minutes. Whisk occasionally. What's that? Yours is a little runny? Uncover and let thicken for another 5 minutes. Dumbass.

The filling

• One package Morning Star meal starters (a.k.a. fake ground beef minus the Catholicism guilt)
• Coupla tomatoes, chopped
• 14-oz can of pinto beans, drained and rinsed
• One medium yellow onion, chopped (use yer goggles!)

Saute ingredients for a few minutes. Taste and adjust salt and other seasonings, like cumin, accordingly. While that's cooking, switch the laundry, change a lightbulb, and flat-iron your hair for tomorrow.

The assembly
Spray a baking dish with Pam and preheat oven to... oh, about 385. Nuke 4 low-fat, whole wheat tortillas for about 10 seconds. (This ensures they're pliable enough to roll and fold - let's save cracks for plumbers.) Set one at a time in the baking dish and fill with the yummies in the saute pan. Sprinkle with shredded cheddar. Fold over on itself so seam is on the bottom. Repeat 3 more times so all the enchiladas fit snugly. Bake covered with foil till thoroughly heated (about 15 minutes). Ladle on the enchilada sauce return to oven, uncovered, till cheese and sauce are hot and bubbling.

SERVE yourself and one other + leftovers WITH A DOLLOP OF FAT-FREE SOUR CREAM AND PICKLED JALAPENOS.

The damage

• Saute pan
• Chefs knife
• Cutting board
• Board scraper
• Ladle
• Baking dish
• Sauce pan
• Spatula for dishing up

A few notes

• Go ahead and use regular fatty cheddar cheese here or it won't melt properly.
• My 'damages' don't involve your serving goodies. If you want to use a charger - you know, the fancy gilded 16"-wide plates - and six forks, suit yourself.